Hester's Birthday Portrait Session - Redirecting Active Kids

Hester is a very active girl...

Throughout the entire photography session, she shifted, jumped, rolled, and fiddled with the things in the studio. There were times I thought she would pull the backdrop down onto herself and my lights (I switched to C-Stands because of her!). It was great fun! Yes, it could have been frustrating, but that would have been entirely my fault.

Having been a grade-school teacher and father to an energetic kid myself, I'm used to dealing with this type of thing. I don't want to make it sound easy though: it isn't.

Part of our problem as adults is that our ego thinks we should have authority over people younger than ourselves. That they should comply with our wishes. When they don't, we get frustrated, manic, angry. This - like many other things - stems from fear. Fear that we aren't as talented or capable as we want to believe. Fear that others will see us as weak unless we show our dominance or ability to manipulate others to do our bidding.

Paradoxically, becoming angry or overly buddy-buddy with those in our charge is actually a sign of weakness, not power. It all comes down to balance, though, and a straightforward rule:

Reach them where they are.

Boing, boing, boing...

An encounter with reality

What does "reach them where they are" mean? Basically, it is the realisation that what you see is what you get, and if you want to get your job done, you have to accept reality and work with what you've got. Once again, this isn't easy. We feel we need to fix the problem so that it fits our preconceived notions, and we can get what we need from them - whether this is compliance, learning what we want to teach them, or photographs.

You might have seen this with how special needs kids are treated. Some people see them as something that needs to be fixed or changed. That's not possible - what needs to be fixed or changed is our approach to teaching or leading them. By definition, they have needs that are different than other kids, and even our own wants and needs. Therefore, we must change. We must go to where they are and talk to them there.

...and crash.

How did I get the shots?

Here's the practical way to put the philosophy above into practice. Two games help illustrate what to do. One is a classic drama and improvisation game called "Yes, and..." the other comes from martial arts, and we called it "Game A."

First I'll cover how to play Yes, and...

Don't say "no."
Add something to the story

That's it! Pretty easy rules, very hard to play. This might sound like a really airy-fairy everyone's a winner parenting tip, but it's great. Kids soon find themselves stumped and even worn out. Once they realise you're going to come up with pretty awesome ideas, they are more willing to follow your lead and listen to your suggestions. Obviously, but it needs to be said, you should say NO quickly and sharply when there is danger or harm. Just make it clear that those things are not trivial.

Sassy fashionista

Game A

Also known as redirection. Don't scoff just yet, there are subtle nuances to this game that make it work even better now that kids have gone past the point where they can be distracted with shiny tinsel or jingling keys.

How to play Game A:

You must maintain in contact as much as possible
You cannot resist what they are doing
You are the one who must respond to danger

In a martial arts setting, you are learning how to yield to the incoming force. You cannot resist that force, you must move out of the way. If you cannot move, you must give in. How to use it here, though?

In a studio setting, you and your partner are working together to get what they want, not what you want. You have to pay constant attention to yourself and what they are doing and what they want. If you push back against it too much, they won't feel like you're taking their preferences into consideration.

If you resist, you create conflict. If you aren't there to be argued with, but somewhere else, it forces the other person to change. If there's danger, you have to deal with it by changing what is happening, not the person.

Dangerous ninja

What does it look like?

I'll give a practical example of how to use these two games.

Hester was playing with the muslin background. She was flipping it over her head like a hood, tossing it around, and tugging on it. The stands holding it began to wobble and teeter. I saw that we were about to have a problem, so I said "wow that looks so cool! Let's not pull it down though, let's get a different one to play with instead!"

I accepted her idea of playing with the billowing muslin, and instead of saying NO, I got her a different one. Note that I also included myself in the game of playing with the muslin.

Later she picked up a wooden Aikido Jo that I have, and instead of telling her to put it away, I taught her how to stand - and took her photo.

In the end, we got a bunch of really different shots that I wouldn't have thought up by myself. I managed to take Hester's photograph, not of someone I was forcing her to be.

I encouraged her to use up her energy. I redirected it to a more creative place. Instead of fighting against it, I was able to wear her out enough so that we also got the pretty shots her mom wanted too.

So there you have it. I hope this has helped you answer how to photograph hyper active kids.

In summary, don't say no; say "Yes, and!" Don't disconnect or fight them against them. Reengage and redirect them. That way it becomes a collaborative game.